An interesting characteristic among most good cooks is the ability to season food without the aid of a recipe. When asked questions about salt, pepper, or any other seasoning, the seasoned cook will typically answer, “I don’t really know the measure, just let me show you.” Such a talent comes from years of experience in which the skill of food preparation becomes so ingrained that the ability to season is simply second nature.
As Paul concluded his letter to the Colossians, he encouraged them to remain steadfast in prayer, specifically praying that he would know what words to speak to make the gospel message clear. He then admonished them to “walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time.” He explained that this requires a keen focus on what they say: “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (4:6). As Paul needed the right words to speak, so did the Colossians. As the Colossians needed the right words to speak, so do we.
Gracious speech means that our words are viewed as a gift given to another. This is certainly the case when time is taken to share the gospel message. Such speech is not only gracious but is also like salt in that it gives the message that preserves; as salt can keep meat from being corrupted, so, too, can the words of salvation bring a soul to purity and negate the danger of spiritual decay. Every child of God should pray as Paul requested the Colossians to pray, that God will “open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ […] that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak” (4:3-4). These gracious words might very well have eternal consequences.
Gracious words do not end with speaking the message of salvation. In everyday conversation, speech should be gracious, with the right seasoning applied. The most readily available weapon in the world has always been and continues to be speech. Whether spoken, written, or communicated electronically, words can inflict serious injury. In James’ warnings on this topic, he wrote, “And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell” (3:6). He continued, stating, “No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (8). James is not stating that controlled speech is beyond human control; he is stating that humans never get to the point where they do not have to think about their words. Speech requires forethought if it is to be gracious and seasoned with salt.
Gracious speech never seeks the destruction of another. While there will be times when corrective words are needed, this correction is always for another’s betterment; it is never given to hurt or to make the speaker feel better by “letting off a little steam.” Gracious speech is never a conduit for gossip. Sadly, the cowardly will not speak directly to one who is believed to have offended in some way; rather, words are spoken to others in order to cause indirect injury by passing along hurtful information, regardless of whether the information is true or not. It is no surprise that God disdains the gossiper (see Romans 1:29).
Another ungracious use of speech is to “teach someone a lesson.” In such instances, words may be withheld to make a point. To stop speaking to someone is a common method of showing displeasure, yet it violates the very tenor of gracious speech. Rather than seeking to encourage or edify, the one against which such hostility is aimed is left to wonder what offense has been committed or shown a “closed door” in seeking to rebuild a damaged relationship. A variation of the above is the decision to speak as little as possible to someone and, for certain, never speak words of encouragement. This is often described by the practitioner as “being civil,” yet it is far from that mark; it is withholding grace and refusing the seasoning that makes a relationship better. Surely a gracious God is extremely disappointed in any of His children who would cop such an attitude with an “offender” after having received His gracious words of salvation.
May every child of God seriously consider the apostle’s admonition for seasoned speech. Grace is always a gift and a gracious word is almost always well received. Refusal to speak words that harm or destroy demonstrates maturity in one seeking to be like the Savior. An old hymn written by Horatius Palmer rings true in warning about the weaponization of words. May such action always be anathema to the one seeking to demonstrate the grace and seasoning of God in the spoken word.
Angry words are lightly spoken,
Bitt’rest thoughts are rashly stirred,
Brightest links of life are broken,
By a single angry word.
